My first and only attempted committed relationship was in elementary school, in approximately the 5th grade. I went with this girl whose first initial is “T”, and a mutual classmate suggested that we should go together. Me and “T” decided to give it a shot. I don’t know if “T” used our mutual classmate as a middleman because she was nervous to ask me to go with her, or if our classmate just liked playing matchmaker, but I obliged nonetheless. The relationship didn’t even last the whole school day! Long story short, before school was over, our entire class went to the computer lab for recreation. “T”, who was the teacher’s pet at the time, was late coming to the computer lab because she was helping our teacher back in the classroom. There was a girl whose first initial is “S”, and she was the resident thot. “S” would let everybody feel up her body, she would twerk on niggas, she flashed us on a regular basis, and she was basically just a little hoe who lacked guidance and self-respect. In the computer lab, “S” was handing out graded assignments from the previous day. When “S” got to me, I decided to grab her thigh, slide my hand up her skirt, and play with her ass. I caressed her ass for a good 45 seconds, then I turned around and continued playing a game on the computer because I thought someone would notice that she was lingering around me. However, “S” didn’t leave after I turned around, so I reached both of my hands behind my head and started squeezing her booty, again. As soon as I got ready to turn around so I could peek under “S”’s skirt, guess who walked into the computer lab? Yep, it was “T”, and she caught me ass-handed! Y’all, “T” didn’t say shit else to me until we were in the 7th grade! And even then, it seemed like she was still holding a grudge. Throughout high school, all my interactions with “T” were us either engaging in petty bickering about nothing or trading sexual innuendo. Also, every time I talked to “T”, her nipples were hard. No, me and “T” never had sex. If I’m not mistaken, “S” had moved and began attending a different school by the 7th grade. Yet, many years later, “S” ended up in a love triangle that led to one of her love interests killing another—an incident that landed her story on a riveting and scandalous episode of Fatal Attraction. I swear, this is all true! I won’t share the link to the episode, because I’m obviously attempting to keep these women’s identities anonymous. Every time I have a dream about high school, which is at least once a year, “T” is in it. I don’t really fuck with social media, so I haven’t kept in contact with many people from my past, but I looked up “T” on Facebook today, and she’s looking a’ight. Honestly, “T” has a pair of bazooms that I’ve been wanting to get my hands on since about the 7th grade—when those motherfuckers just blossomed out of nowhere. And those puppies are still looking good, respectfully.
Was anything I said in the previous paragraph disrespectful? I completely respect women, but I also desire to have sex with them from time to time. These days, as we all know, modish women transparently act as if they’d rather be lusted after and diminished than honored and respected. Even with those big-ass titties, as far as I know, “T” has remained virtuous and respectable throughout the years. When it comes to sex, especially in conversations about it, a lot of people expose their immaturity by showing their deficiencies in rationality and responsibility concerning the matter. Personally, I view sex as an act that is just as natural as eating and sleeping. But immature people often make the topic of sex cringy and unpalatable. Do you know why you’re easily able to respect a woman like Michelle Obama, regardless of your political affiliation, but women like Kim Kardashian rarely elicit reverence from you? It’s because we innately associate sexuality with respectability. In a civilized society, most of us accept that sex is a part of life, but we don’t appreciate it being thrown in our faces as if sex itself shouldn’t be respected. If you don’t respect sex—and its physical, psychological, and social ramifications—then it’s difficult for people who respect it to respect you. Sex is serious—it can create life and take life in various ways. However, when does it become unreasonable for a stranger to concern themselves with other people’s personal lives? Damn-near everybody is a hypocrite, and that’s the incontrovertible truth. Cognitive dissonance occurs when a person’s actions aren’t parallel with their beliefs, which basically describes hypocrisy. And sanctimony, which is habitually pretending to be morally superior to others, is probably the most widely used deception in the world. Now, I’ve said a lot of things on this blog that may lead an absentminded or thoughtless individual to conclude that I would’ve never played with a hoe’s ass in a computer lab full of my peers. However, maturity generally results from a person approaching or reaching the point of full growth. And growth takes time and experience, doesn’t it? Meaning, I had to grow into the man that I am today. Even so, I’ve always had strong foundational intelligence and maturity. Still and all, many of you must grow to appreciate the irrefutable fact that you will never be able to tell a stranger what the fuck they can and can’t do! People are going to fuck whomever, whenever, wherever the fuck they want, and they’re going to openly talk about it, regardless of how much you respect or disrespect their decisions. Although, I align with the principle of people requiring respect to reciprocate it, and I recognize that many people will never respect people who they believe are either disrespectful or lack self-respect. Then again, I don’t respect people who are disrespectful towards people just because they disapprove of their actions. Does that make sense and does it make me a hypocrite? This is where being intelligent starts fucking with your head. How much of this shit is actually important?!
I’m an advocate of people choosing to mind their own business, I’m a backer of people forcing other people to stay out of their business, and I’m a supporter of people fighting to obligate others to make better choices. But if you take either of those things to an extreme, then I can’t fuck with it. Life can be confusing, sometimes, huh? Do you want to know the secret to uncomplicating life? It’s as simple as learning what’s important to you, and stop worrying about things that you don’t believe are important. How do you do that? Well, again, keep it simple. Chances are, the most vital things in your life are the things that directly affect your health and happiness, or your ability to function efficiently. For instance, if hearing other people discuss sex disgusts you, stay away from vulgar people and don’t watch or listen to salacious content. I haven’t watched one episode of that popular YouTube show, Caresha Please, because I don’t want to hear that shit. Everything isn’t for everybody, and I know that saying is clichéd, but with all the virality of indelicate and offensive content nowadays, it’s often hard to discern whether you’re tripping or if people are just unduly indecorous. But if you don’t fuck with something, it being viral or excessively popular shouldn’t sway your instinctive reaction to it. Remember, everybody is stupid, so don’t let these stupid motherfuckers coerce you into stupidity. Additionally, learn when to shut up. Everything isn’t about you, not even in your own life. A few months ago, I was chatting with one of my sisters, and she was talking about how she disapproved of one of the kids shows that my niece watches having a same-sex parenting couple. From my sister’s perspective, she doesn’t want her daughter watching a show that could potentially corrupt her perception of love and relationships. Needless to say, my sister’s ignorance instantaneously set me off! I explained to her that there are thousands of kids out there with parents who are in same-sex relationships, and that those kids deserve to have their parents represented on television. How can my sister have her daughter watch an internationally aired TV show, and believe that the show should only depict what she, as an individual, deems appropriate?! That’s ridiculous, divisive, inconsiderate, selfish, hateful, and other harsh words that I’ll refrain from using. And this is also where a lot of y’all get life all fucked-up! Again, everything ain’t about you! Children are humans with thoughts, feelings, and dreams of their own. As a parent, it’s your duty to guide your child to maturity. But if you’re immature, how the fuck are you going to do that?! You won’t even be able to heed my advice if you’re not mature enough to accept that many of your misunderstandings in life are a product of your immaturity. For the umpteenth time, nobody can grow without changing. If you want to be more mature, you’re going to have to change your puerile ways. And if you know you’re childish, from now on, in any given situation, just ask yourself—what would Beau Amoureux do?