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Everybody’s Stupid, XXXV

If hip hop culture has taught us anything, it’s that niggas are the most mortal motherfuckers in existence! And knowing how often niggas’ lives are cut short, what the fuck makes niggas believe they’re invincible?! In recent news, Takeoff (of the hip hop group “Migos”) was unfortunately shot and killed as a result of a nigga-moment that he wasn’t an instigator in. During the altercation that led up to the shooting, bystanders began recording the dispute between the opposing antagonists. After the videos of the shooting and its aftermath hit the web, retired one-hit wonder and current podcast host, Gillie da King (formerly known as Gillie da Kid), took to social media in a self-recorded video that portrayed him angrily expressing his contempt for niggas’ propensity to record wild, controversial, and dramatic scenes to share on the internet. Oh, the irony! If you don’t know, Gillie is an old, washed-up rapper and reformed reprobate from Philadelphia, who perpetually touted his violent nature in his music, has been involved in several publicized beefs, and still brags about being credible in the streets today. In Gillie’s petty-ass, crybaby-ass rant, he made it seem as if niggas and their emotional immaturity and high-conflict personalities aren’t the problem, but other niggas constantly recording these puerile-ass, pathetic-ass, pernicious-ass niggas is the problem! I swear, all niggas are fucking clowns to me! Admittedly, I’m lame, and I always have been. All my guns are legal, I ain’t never fucked a hoe in my life, I’ve only been to jail for traffic violations and disorderly conduct (for playing my music too loud), and I’ve spent minimal time in the streets. But ain’t none of that got shit to do with me being secure, assertive, steadfast, vigilant, and forthright! I don’t give a FUCK about niggas and their fallacious senses of pride or their egomania! Additionally, niggas would have been recording videos whether there was an altercation or not! Contemporary idiots share their entire lives on social media. Gillie said that only niggas post videos of nigga-shit online, for likes. There are 8 billion people in the world! In the Middle East and Africa, villagers commonly record videos of people having their limbs severed for stealing! In Mexico and South America, both male and female gang members frequently shoot videos of themselves torturing rival gang members! And it gets a whole lot worse! People don’t know shit!

Educate yourselves! I’m a high school dropout, and I’ve never been ashamed to admit it because I’ve always known that I am smarter than most people. Smart in the sense of possessing the faculties to understand almost anything, and having the intelligence to effectively use everything I learn to my advantage. I attended several alternative schools after I left high school during my sophomore year, but I ended up leaving those schools too. I’ve always hated school, but I love learning. School only inadvertently teaches us about life and survival—through the interactions and outside-the-classroom experiences we have. But I’ve always believed that school ain’t for smart people! I quickly grew tired of having more questions for every answer that was presented to me by a teacher or in a textbook. I was about 7 years old when my dad and aunt forced me to attend my first bible study. The bitch teaching the class began to read the Bible, she said “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth.”, I asked “how”, that bitch said “magic”, and I was done with all teachers from that point forward! I acquired my GED after joining the Army National Guard, then I quit the National Guard right before I was supposed to leave for basic training. After that, I realized that I would never abide by any of society’s conventional standards. Everything ain’t for everybody, right? But people unfailingly prove that they have no qualms about dedicating their lives to living for other people! I’ve never wanted to be anything other than me. And even with all the conflicting phases that I’ve gone through, my core values and defining attributes have never changed. With the relentless senseless violence that has plagued the black community for decades, people are still failing at devising solutions. Y’all ain’t learned yet, huh? In my opinion, it’s evident that violence will always exist, and there are no quick or permanent resolutions for the mental illnesses and systemic stupidity that black people are born with and voluntarily espouse. And for all I care, these stupid-ass niggas can keep killing each other and killing themselves until they’re extinct! But it’s the random and fortuitous victimization of irreproachable parties that should be our primary concern.

Hoping, wishing, and praying ain’t never done shit but occupy idol time, and niggas are out here utilizing that same idol time to be niggas! So, opposed to selling you more snake oil to sip for entertainment purposes, I’m going to gift you all with three exceptionally simple ways to avoid being a victim. Firstly, overvalue yourself and everyone that you love! Self-preservation and nurturing love are instinctive functions that you must be insane to suppress. Stupid-ass, crazy niggas are convinced that life isn’t important, and if they don’t give a fuck about their own lives, how much do you think they care about yours?! Overvaluing yourself and your loved ones means never allotting the task of appreciating your life’s value to strangers! Yes, motherfuckers are “that crazy”! If you “wish a nigga would”, there are niggas out here that will luxuriate in waving their “sticks” and granting that wish, and niggas ain’t genies! Secondly, an oldie but goody—mind your fucking business! Simply, if something doesn’t involve you or directly affect you, why the fuck do you care?! One of my favorite battle rappers, a merciful Canadian named Pat Stay, was murdered by stabbing while attempting to break up a fight outside a nightclub. Pat Stay was a hulking 6’5” beast, and a small blade took him out. Unfortunately, heroism and self-preservation are archenemies. And there’s a fine line between being a hero and being intrusively meddlesome! People often gloat about being petty and nosy like that shit is productive or constructive. And that’s just one of the many reasons why I seldom have sympathy for stupid-ass, dead niggas and bitches, “periodt”. Thirdly, and this is the easiest one—call the fucking cops, stupid! Another one of my favorite battle rappers, Jaz the Rapper, is a female with a regular-ass job, working as an emergency dispatcher in New York. During one of her battles, she stressed the importance of her job, noting that people are constantly in distress, under duress, and hopelessly seeking help. So, if you’re having problems with niggas that you hate, and cops often kill niggas unwarrantedly, and you wouldn’t mind seeing the niggas that you hate dead, why not call the cops?! Also, niggas love being murdered and incarcerated so much, everything they do is geared towards dying senselessly or getting locked up. That means, you are doing niggas a favor by expediting their process if you persistently call the cops on them until they’re gone! Think about it.

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